


"Here, take this" + "Of course I kept it"

by Schreibmaschine



Series: Archive for my tumblr prompts [14]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Awkward Upgraded Connor | RK900, Connor & Upgraded Connor | RK900 are Siblings, Fluff, Gavin helps Nines build his social module, Good communicaation, M/M, Misunderstandings, No social module Nines, Overly protective Connor, Soft Gavin Reed, Soft Upgraded Connor | RK900
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:40:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27575986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schreibmaschine/pseuds/Schreibmaschine
Summary: Nines is a deviant without a social module. Of course, being partnered up with Gavin isn't ideal, but Connor keeps him safe from the human. It is only when he goes to far that Nines realises Gavin has a soft side and decides to take matters into his own hands.
Relationships: Background Relationship: - Relationship, Hank Anderson/Connor, Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed
Series: Archive for my tumblr prompts [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1954156
Comments: 23
Kudos: 139





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was published on my tumblr @fandom-necromancer! And is one of my most successful stories. Art made by me.

Nines had learned a lot in the little time he had been active. If he had to boil it down, he could reduce it to three things. One: humans were confusing and so much more complex. Two: Him not having a social module made it unbelievably difficult to work with them. Three: His working relationship with Detective Gavin Reed depended solely on the fact that an RK800 unit – Connor – considered him a brother and had knocked out the human immediately after every fight they had.

It was a relief to have the Detective behaving in his presence now, although Nines had wished the reason to be himself, not the looming threat that was Connor. But that would need time, experience and learning. Cyberlife never finished him. His hardware was completed, yes. But a lot of the software-tweaks they wanted to implement had simply been forgotten over the revolution. Most could be overlooked but the lack of social skills was a severe hindrance.

Sarcasm, humour, body-language or just a slightly different tone that altered the meaning of a sentence completely – all that were concepts he knew. He had done the research and memorised it in all the empty space where the program should have been, but recognising it in real life situations? An impossible task for him.

‘Phck, shit, goddamnit! Why are you phcking doing this to me?’ RK900 looked up and over his desktop to Gavin quickly analysing the situation. No eye-contact. Looking at the screen with wrinkled face. Tone harsh. Nines concluded it wasn’t directed at him pretty quickly, but what was this emotion? Anger? Incomprehension? Despair? Could be anything.  
‘I detected you are in some way irritated. Can I help?’  
Gavin flinched and looked up to him. ‘What? No. The damn computer just asked for a password and I mistyped it. Now I’m blocked for the next five minutes.’  
‘I have to remind you, your Computer isn’t in any way sentient and you speaking to it won’t achieve anything.’  
‘I know, tin-can! But sometimes you have to let your frustration out and yell at a machine. I mean, look at you! You also seem not to be sentient enough to understand me and yet I phcking talk to you! I need a damn coffee!’ The human jumped from his chair letting it scoot a bit backwards. Nines remained seated and started analysing the last conversation. Had he done something wrong? Had something he said angered the Detective? Had there been another social cue he had overseen, something subtle he should have picked up? He was still deeply in thought as Connor came over.  
‘Has he done something?’ Nines studied the other android and somehow it was easier to read him than humans. There was this evident worried protectiveness together with disdain for the Detective.  
‘I don’t know. He stated to be “frustrated”.’  
‘With you? You know I can talk with him anytime, just say the word.’  
‘No. RK8- _brother_ – your “talks” tend to end in physical violence. I think it would be detrimental to the efforts I put into understanding the human. He seemed frustrated of his Computer.’  
‘Fine.’ Connor locked eyes with Gavin coming back from the breakroom and as soon as the man realised his presence there was resistance in coming nearer. The cause of it stayed illusive to Nines, although Gavin returned to his desk as soon as Connor had departed.  
‘Jesus, your brother is terrifying.’  
‘Jesus didn’t have a brother.’  
‘What the… Nines, I meant your brother. Connor.’  
‘I wouldn’t call him threatening. He is easily agitated when it comes to the people, he calls family.’  
‘Whatever. Just please don’t tell him to beat me up again, okay? I learned my lesson, I’m trying to be nice to you, although you are weird as phck.’ Nines took a while to try find out the meaning of weird as a fuck. In the end he agreed on the basic expression of him being weird and the rest of the sentence due to the Detective’s very unique use of expletives.  
‘I never told him to do that. I don’t even understand why he tends to do it. I don’t wish any of my surroundings harm.’  
‘Well, you are not very good at it. I’m gonna go home. See ya tomorrow.’  
Nines nodded but didn’t answer, not knowing one was required.

The night shift arrived, and Nines was still working. Connor and Lieutenant Anderson had gone shortly after Gavin and Connor once again offered him to come with them. But he had declined as always. There was no use going somewhere when there was work to do. Although, around midnight he found himself distracted more and more. The conversations of the day replayed in his mind over and over again, analysing every second of them, learning from it and trying to figure out what he did wrong again this time.  
He managed to dismiss most of his thoughts for later but wasn’t able to let go of the Detective explaining he was frustrated.  
Frustration. The feeling of being upset or annoyed as a result of being unable to change or achieve something. A kind of mental pain humans experienced. Maybe if he could help the Detective, they would warm up to each other. But what could he do when he had to research what frustration was, what it felt like? Frustration could be caused by stress, but also from various other sources, there was no way Nines could find out what it was exactly that put off his partner. All he knew was that Gavin wasn’t happy.  
_How to make your partner happy?  
_There were quite some results to the search. He hadn’t expected there to be so much advice when clearly little jobs had people partnering up.  
_Compliment him._ Well, Gavin was intelligent. He was on the upper scale of human attractiveness according to online-tests and really stubborn. But he wouldn’t know how to say any of that without getting misunderstood.  
_Tell him you appreciate what he does for you and your family._ Again, not the best thing, when all Gavin had done for his “family” was to hold Connor at gunpoint repeatedly.  
_Make time for things to get hot in the bedroom._ That just left Nines clueless. Sure, he could hack the Detective’s smart home and manipulate the thermostat, but wouldn’t the human know best what to do with it?  
_Be supportive of his alone time._ At least that he already was, following his orders when he told him to fuck off.  
_Look him in the eyes._ Manageable.  
_When you get something for yourself, get something for him, too._ So a gift, then. Difficult but also in the realm of possibility.

He decided to take the next day off. There hadn’t been new cases lately, so his new mission was far more interesting and rewarding. _Learn how to compliment. Acquire a gift._ He figured the mall would be as good of a place as any to start and so he strolled through shops filled to the brink with humans and androids, trying to find something in the overwhelming heap of goods.  
Somehow he ended up in a small shop for minerals and simple jewellery. He hadn’t made the decision consciously and realised he had only entered because it was empty and somehow… tranquil. The android wandered through the aisles of sparkling crystals and polished stones beginning to think he was going to fail his mission.

‘Hello. Do you need help?’ Nines nearly forgot he wasn’t alone. He was about to decline but maybe the human could actually help him. ‘I’m looking for a gift for a friend of mine. He is a human and stated to be frustrated. I thought a gift would help.’  
‘Ah, so is your friend interested in minerals?’  
‘I… I don’t know if he sees any value in these stones.’ Nines quickly did some research about the public opinion on them realising what he said had the potential to hurt the shopkeeper. ‘But I heard humans enjoy… shiny things.’  
The human huffed at that and nodded. ‘Most do. Is your friend someone who wears pendants or rings?’ Nines didn’t even have to check to answer that. ‘No. He has a keychain, but that’s as far as it gets.’  
‘Okay, so more of an ornamental object. Do they have a favourite colour?’  
‘I don’t know.’  
‘What about eye-colour?’  
Nines frowned. ‘How is that important?’  
‘Well, it’s something few people realise unless they spend time with each other. So, it is a proof you remembered it, a sign of affection. Some people tend to say the eyes are a gateway to your soul.’  
‘I don’t have a soul.’  
‘Well, humans aren’t really sure they have one either. It’s more of a saying, symbolism.’  
‘Do humans compliment on each other’s eyes if they mean so much?’  
‘Oh, yes. Most do. So what is his colour?’  
‘Green bordering to grey. It kind of depends on lightning and how much he slept.’  
‘Okay, I have some green ones.’ He led Nines to a shelf full of little stones, all of them varying tones of green and blue. Although Nines had no real grasp at aesthetics [one ](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.steinoase.ch%2Fcontents%2Fmedia%2Fap01.jpg&t=NTBkNDQxYTRmNTIzMjA2ZDgyNjYyMjQ3YTY0NGQwYTRmZDQ5M2FiZixEMHNrcFBjaw%3D%3D&b=t%3Aq8gg7-aexhdsleqZciYdwg&p=https%3A%2F%2Ffandom-necromancer.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F186284781671%2F162-here-take-this-just-as-a-note-this-one-is&m=0&ts=1603721500)caught his special interest. It was small, not bigger than a pebble, but it looked like ocean waves crashing against a cliff, turning in on each other and creating a pattern of delicate complexity. Somehow it seemed fitting – a storm caught in a moment.  
‘That’s an apatite. But not the best of quality. See those enclosures? Normally they are thin and not as prominent. We have better ones over here if you like.’  
‘No, I think I’ll take this one.’

~

The next day he was back at work, the stone in his pocket. Gavin hadn’t asked why he hadn’t been at work yesterday. Both simply worked on their cases and reports, close to ignoring the other. Until Gavin announced he was going for a coffee break. Immediately Nines stood, this being the cue he had waited for. ‘May I accompany you?’  
‘Sure, I mean it’s just to the breakroom and out for a cigarette.’  
Nines waited until the Detective got his coffee and followed him to the parking lot.

‘So why are you so clingy today, toaster?’ He took a deep breath and blew the smoke out in the air.  
‘You stated you were frustrated.’  
‘And?’  
‘That means you are not happy. As this is the prerequisite for a good working relationship, I aim to correct that.’  
‘What?’  
‘I noticed that your eyes are remarkable. There is a high possibility you won’t need glasses until old age.’ Nines scanned the human but couldn’t decide whether the expression he wore was flattered or dumbfounded. But well, that was complimenting him done. Now to the gift.  
‘Here. Take this.’ He stretched out his hand, the stone on his palm. Gavin hesitantly took it and studied the object.  
‘What is this?’  
‘It’s a stone. It reacts badly to pressure and heat, just like you and it looks like your eyes when we investigate at night. My research deemed this a suitable gift. I’m going back to work.’

With a more than pleasing [mission successful] in his HUD he left Gavin standing in the parking lot, the man staring a hole in his back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was prompted by the tumblr user scale-shark72!

Gavin stood next to his coffee-machine at home, waiting for his first dose of caffeine before driving over to the precinct. Absent-minded he turned the stone in his hand. It had become a new habit of his, just flipping over the not completely round object while he was thinking. It had been two days since the android gifted it to him. Since then it had gotten back to not emoting in any way. Sitting opposite to him, reacting at things that weren’t meant for him and not reacting when they were. Talking analytical, more a machine than a machine would have been. God, even Connor had been more human-like before deviating. And Gavin knew the RK900 was a deviant. That was the one requirement of working at the DPD.

Since their meeting outside, the weird comments and, well, this stone, Gavin’s thoughts circled around the android. It was clear this incident meant something; it was too odd for it not to. But he couldn’t find a reason. Connor had taught him the lesson not to offend the robot in any way. A man’s pride could only be hurt so many times, before backing down. He had thought that to be the status quo from now on - Gavin being civil with the thing and in return having to deal with that oversized text to speech analyser- but the android’s actions had been social ones. At least they were not work related. Well, it was something entirely new in working with the android and Gavin had no idea how to get some insight. He could ask the android himself but talking with the thing wouldn’t get him anything but new questions with his cryptic techno-talks. He could ask Connor, but that wouldn’t end well. Maybe Hank? Again, not the best of ideas as the man was practically glued to the RK800. Maybe it was best to just let it go and ignore the stupid android. Maybe it was just malfunctioning anyway.

As he arrived at the precinct the android was already working away. As it always was. Except for that day of unexplainable absence, the machine had always been working. Did it work when he had gone home, too? Connor never stayed overnight for all he knew. God, when had he become so caught up with this android?  
‘Morning, tin-can.’ No answer. Well, as expected. The stupid thing most likely was too deep into whatever it was working on. Gavin turned on his computer and while he waited, positioned the stone he still held in his pocket on his table. ‘Hey, toaster.’ The other raised his head, completely void of any expression yet somehow it screamed confusion all over the place. ‘What can I do for you, Detective?’  
‘Erm… yes, regarding that. I wanted to- ah phck, are you always working?’  
‘Yes.’  
‘For real? What do you do when I’m gone?’  
‘I stay and work on our cases.’  
‘You don’t have to, I don’t know, sleep or something?’  
‘I require time spent in stasis, four to six hours depending on the activities of the day.’  
‘And you do nothing but sit here all the time?’  
‘No. Was that expected?’  
‘Was that- hell, tin-can that can’t be healthy, even for an android!’  
‘Androids can’t get ill, detective.’  
‘Yeah, but you’re awake, right? I mean you guys can have mental stuff.’  
‘I don’t know what you mean with _mental stuff_ but I assure you I am in perfect working condition.’  
‘Oh phck off man. You’re acting like a damn machine all the time, maybe it’s the stress.’  
‘Detective, I am a machine.’  
‘You are a deviant. You are supposed to feel and shit.’  
‘I don’t eat, so I don’t have to-‘  
‘Okay stop this before it gets worse, okay? Connor is a machine, too and he is feeling plenty.’  
‘I never said I don’t have feelings.’  
‘Really? Because I got the idea you don’t. There can be the most gruesome murder and you comment on how the body is underweight. Like holy shit man, look at you now. You are like an extraordinarily detailed mannequin. There is literally no expression at all. That really creeped me out in the beginning.’

There was the red light again. Shit. Across the precinct, Connor shot up from his chair. What kind of telepathy-sixth-sense they both had, Gavin would never know. What he was sure of though, was that his day was off to a bad start, when he would have a talk with the older brother at this early hour. The RK800 was already stomping over, Gavin getting in a defensive position ready to jump up to his feet. ‘Hey, come on man, all we did was talk! I didn’t do anything.’ But the android was determined, and he prepared for getting thrown against a wall again.  
But none of that happened, when the RK900 got up instead, pushing against his brother’s chest and blocking his path.  
‘RK800. Stop. I am perfectly capable of handling the Detective myself, I don’t need you to act for me every time. I never asked for it.’  
Surprisingly, Connors face got soft immediately with a knowing smile. ‘Nines, I know you might think that way, but I know you are misinterpreting this. Something he said stressed you and you don’t know how to react. I won’t let my little brother get exploited or ordered around, simply because he lacks a social module and doesn’t understand what’s happening. So, let me handle this for you.’  
‘No. You don’t recognise you order me around right now. The Detective did nothing but talk to me. How am I supposed to write my own programming if I have no source to learn from? If I ever need your help, I will ask for it. But right now, you are acting without my consent again and I won’t let that happen. I want you to go.’

Gavin had simply watched what was happening, not really understanding everything, but seemingly getting a bit more of an idea what was going on. Connor surprisingly nodded at that and went back to his desk, looking just as confused as Gavin himself.  
‘For the sake of working efficiency, would you accompany me to the break room?’  
‘Err, yes. Of course. What the hell happened there? You know I need an explanation, right?’

He followed the android through the precinct, feeling Connor’s eyes in his back. Before Gavin could say anything, the android burst out: ‘My unit doesn’t have a social module. It was never installed because my prototype remained unfinished in the revolution. I can’t pick up or imitate important communication means such as facial expressions, voice intonation and gestures.’  
‘Wow, okay. That is a bit much. So, what you are saying is you can’t feel anything?’  
‘No. I can feel emotions. I can’t emote them or recognise them in others.’  
‘Shit. Why did you never told anyone?’  
‘Hank and Connor know. Fowler too. That was the reason he partnered me up with a human.’  
‘Okay, why didn’t you tell me?’  
‘It is a defect.’  
‘And you want to appear perfect?’  
Silence. Then an answer: ‘Yes. I wanted to be a good partner.’  
‘Okay, what did you mean with “writing your own programming”?’  
‘I don’t have a social module installed, but I can build up my own from experience. I did a lot of research and learned from the people around me in the hopes of figuring it out before someone recognises it. But I failed.’  
Gavin looked at the android before him and his red LED. A lot began to make sense all of sudden.  
‘So that’s what it was out there, you gifting me the stone?’  
‘My research resulted that to make a partner happy you compliment them and bring gifts. I tried it, although I can’t know whether I succeeded.’  
‘Hey, I really like the stone. You did great. And you are a good partner. All this time I thought you were some kind of asshole ignoring me all day, but this actually makes sense now.’  
‘I can understand if you don’t want to work alongside a defective android.’  
‘Oh come on, you are working with a defective human and don’t seem to complain. And you’re not defective in the first place if you were built this way, I guess.’  
‘So you still want to work with me?’  
‘Of course. Although now you’ve given me something to think about… Do you want me to help build up your social skill-thingy?’  
‘I would appreciate that.’  
‘Good. Tonight, you won’t be staying here and work, you are coming with me and see people!’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can prompt a story like this yourself if you want! Just head over to my tumblr @fandom-necromancer, message me on twitter @Schreibmachin4 or contact me in any way!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was prompted by an anonymous tumblr user!

'Okay, so what can you tell me about this guy?’  
Nines looked over, masking his stare not to be too obvious, just as he had learned from Gavin. Clearly focussing the clock at the opposite wall for anyone who might look at him, he watched the person from the corner of his eyes.  
[Larry Osborne, 36 years old, criminal record: none]  
He blinked the analysis result out of his view, this wasn’t important now. Gavin wanted something far, far more difficult from him.  
He accessed the databanks he had saved in that empty void his programming had kept vacant for his social module to be installed. Not that that had ever happened.

He looked back on the table and let the video-footage he collected replay. The human bared his teeth, but the corners of his mouth were turned upwards.  
‘He looks happy’, Nines stated, trying to find anything else he could identify.  
‘He is with friends. He touched his neighbour on the shoulder. Physical contact is a sign of familiarity.’  
‘Yup. Both are right’, Gavin nodded and took a sip of his drink. ‘But is it real happiness?’  
‘What do you mean?’, the android asked.  
‘Well, you said he looks happy. _Is_ he happy?’  
‘I…’ Nines replayed the footage over and over again, but he couldn’t identify anything about what Gavin wanted to know. ‘I can’t tell. This is all I could see.’  
‘Okay. Then look at his eyes. The smile doesn’t reach his eyes. He doesn’t mean it.’  
‘But why should he look happy when he isn’t?’, Nines asked confused.  
‘To show the others he enjoys their company? To be liked? To avoid questioned about what’s wrong? Not to let them worry? Could be anything.’  
‘How do you know all this?’  
‘It’s assumptions, Nines. But don’t worry, you don’t need to be able to identify that. You already learned a lot.’  
‘But I want to be able to. Connor can identify this better than some humans. I am… I want to have this defect eradicated!’

Nines swiped away all of his self-written protocols and wished he could just hide behind his walls again. Code that would tell him he didn’t need this. That he needed to know what threat someone portrayed, how to break their defences and how to incapacitate them most efficiently. That it didn’t matter whether someone was really happy or not. But these limitations had been long gone and left him to his own devices in a world that didn’t need them anymore. Gavin had been a major help ever since Nines managed to stand up to Connor. He was still trying to mend the wounds caused to the android’s relationship with himself, calling the RK800 brother as he liked that and coming to him for help, he technically didn’t need anymore, as Gavin started to mediate any situation that involved social cues. Ideas from the very human actually. Although the Detective had emphasized, he was much more competent in burning bridges instead of rebuilding them, his advice had helped Nines getting back to terms with Connor.

It had also helped him building up his social protocols. The human had held true on that promise of taking him out to the city with him after work. Mostly it was people-watching in parks, in the streets or now that it was getting colder outside bars and shopping malls. Nines was thankful Gavin knew the only people he could talk to were himself, Connor, Hank and the Captain, and didn’t press him to practise his social skills by talking. This approach was fine with him, although frustrating.

‘Hey, Nines, what did I tell you?’, Gavin asked and as Nines looked up, he knew the man was [sad] and tried to hide [anger]. Somehow it was far easier for him to read his partner than other humans. Maybe because the Detective hid nothing? Most people disliked him because of that. Nines couldn’t say he shared that opinion.  
‘Nines, you are not defective. Nothing in you is broken and I absolutely hate it when you say that.’  
‘But I can’t function correctly!’ Nines knew for sure his LED was red again and that Connor would have gotten that notification again. Soon Nines would have to calm his brother again that Gavin didn’t harm him in any way and that his worry was unnecessary.  
‘You function absolutely correct, Nines. You function just the way Cyberlife intended. You are just frustrated that you are not _more_ and believe me, I know that feeling.’

‘You do?’ Nines understood the logic in his words but refused to acknowledge it just yet. He had only ever seen Connor, androids and humans around him having no problems communicating or handling normal tasks. To hear Gavin also had some attributes he struggled with was something completely new to him.

‘Yeah, that thing kinda happens when you grow up next to Elijah phcking Kamski. I know I can’t be the same genius level of intelligence he is at, but I always tried and evidently failed to reach my goal.’

‘But you are a remarkably intelligent individual’, Nines reported matter-of-factly. ‘In most cases you recognise the important connections at crime-scenes before any other human.’  
‘Exactly. And that proves my point, Nines.’ Gavin emptied his glass with a few big gulps. ‘I never invented robots and made millions. But I am a good Detective on the force. If I had never struggled trying to become like my brother, I might have ended somewhere else completely. Same with you. You try to become like Connor or humans but you always just see the distance you have in front of you, not the one you already travelled.’  
‘I’m afraid, I don’t understand.’  
‘What I’m saying is you already accomplished so much since you confessed to me what was going on with you. You don’t rely on Connor as much anymore. You go out and make experiences. You came far already. Don’t worry about what you can’t do yet. You’ll get there.’

Nines stared at Gavin for a long time in what other would have maybe described as an eerie, soulless stare, but the human knew what it meant: an intense, prolonged analysis. Normally he would have helped the android by staying still, but this time he turned away. He didn’t want Nines know of his real feelings towards the machine just yet. Not until the android could portray them on his own and learned to take onto these cues. Doing anything but that wouldn’t be… fair.

‘You… You care for me.’  
Gavin coughed but nodded swirling the ice in his otherwise empty glass.  
‘Why? You are not as thoughtfully towards other people.’  
‘You are my partner. We are supposed to care for each other. Others don’t need it.’  
‘Detective, have we reached the status friends?’ Gavin looked up and was met by those piecing analysing eyes.  
‘God, I sure hope we have’, Gavin stumbled. ‘Otherwise this would be a bit awkward. But you tell me.’

Nines thought about that for a while, comparing it to research.  
_One attached to another by affection or esteem._ Big words with a lot of meanings.  
_One that is not hostile._ Gavin was hostile but never towards him.  
_One that is of the same nation, party or group._ Gavin was a member of several groups he had catalogued in his mind: He was in the DPD, in the range of what Nines called trusted people, but there was also something that distinguished Gavin from every other person Nines had met up to now. Although what that was, he couldn’t quite put to words.  
_A favoured companion._ That made Nines physically nod. Gavin was his favoured if not favourite companion.  
‘Yes. We are friends without doubt’, he reported trying to put on a smile of his own as it was required if one wanted to show happiness. Most people would call his smile terrifying or unsettling, but Gavin just laughed – at and not about it as he had reassured him countless times – and his face changed colour. Nines had yet to understand what that special feature of humans meant.

‘Hey, then as a friend of yours I guess I have tortured you enough with socialising. Should we get a move on?’  
‘Yes, please.’  
Gavin paid for his drinks and Nines fetched him his jacket, because that was the polite thing to do according to his research. Also, it was effective.  
They walked out and to Gavin’s car, the man asking the same question as always as they entered it: ‘So, where do you wanna go? Should I drop you off at the precinct or…’  
So far Nines had always said yes at that sentence. Gavin had driven him to the precinct, he had gone back to work and the human off to sleep. Only the last few times he had realised the question might have a different intention.  
So instead of just confirming, this time Nines asked: ‘What are the options?’  
Gavin looked at him in surprise, what made the android question if he had interpreted the sentence wrong. But the human answered: ‘Oh, I mean, I guess I could drive you anywhere… or you could come home with me, like Connor does with Hank.’  
‘If that’s okay for you, I would like to accompany you this time.’  
‘Hey, I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t want it.’

Nines took his time analysing Gavin as he was preoccupied with staring at the street. He tried to find out whether the human was pleased with his answer. But as he still struggled with detecting the simpler human emotions like happiness, sadness, anger and fear, he had no hope in succeeding. Asking wouldn’t help either as Gavin was a master in disguising his feelings.  
They drove in silence and Nines was caught in the loop of asking himself whether or not he should break it with conversation.  
‘Hey, relax man’, Gavin seemed to sense his despair and clapped his thigh. [Friendly gesture] not [attack], he reminded himself. ‘This is okay. I would have been happy with either decision you made as I know it is what you want.’  
The android did manage to relax at that. How could Connor ever think chastising this human and keeping him from interacting with him would be beneficial or necessary? Nines had never met a person this thoughtful and understanding. Nines corrected himself, Connor was understanding too, but was fast to patronise people. Hank was thoughtful too, but lacked the guidance Nines knew he needed. Maybe, Nines concluded, he shouldn’t try to compare the man next to him to others and simply appreciate he had him for a friend. Friend. It was such an easy word but packed to the brink with emotions the android could neither describe nor identify. And there was still more associated with the man that didn’t really fit into that category. Nines sighed, brushing the open problem away to solve some other day. When he was more experienced. Less defective.

‘There we are’, Gavin exclaimed as he unlocked the door and held it open for the android. Nines brushed his shoes on the doormat telling him to “Go away” and stepped in as if he was a foreign object in a perfectly quarantined environment. Gavin followed, removing his shoes and closing the door again. Nines observed him and mimicked him, only disturbed by a sudden [proximity alert]: A black shadow ran past him directly towards the human. Reacting on instinct Nines snatched the [unidentified object, threat: high] from the ground.  
‘Holy shit!’ Gavin stood up, one foot still half in his shoe to calm Nines. ‘Sorry, I should have warned you, would you please let her down? She doesn’t like to be picked up by strangers.’  
The android answered by scanning the thing in his hands and immediately setting it back down inspecting his scratched outer hull. [Cat, 12-14, female.] The fluffy black to blue-grey cat looked at him in what he could easily detect as fear of the unknown after downloading the according databank.

He crouched, fixing the cat and slowly closing his eyes. ‘I am very sorry for startling you and that I failed to properly introduce myself. My name is Nines, a pleasure to meet you.’  
If the cat felt likewise, he would never know as Gavin’s laugh made his cat finally lose all interest in socialising and run for the living room.  
‘Okay, you definitely know how to communicate with cats’, he wheezed and Nines tried to figure whether it had been a lie. Failing, he simply stated: ‘Cats are easier to understand. They emote more.’  
‘Yeah, okay, but she won’t understand your formalities.’  
‘I can still try.’  
‘Heh, yeah you can. Make yourself at home, I’ll go take a quick shower and feed Stroy.’

Quickly, the human scurried past him and left Nines to his own devices as he disappeared into a different room. The android stood in the hallway for a moment, unsure what the man expected him to do when “making himself at home”. It was a matter to abstract to understand, so Nines took to investigating. That at least was something he knew and would calm him. He stayed away from any drawers or closed doors as “sometimes hidden things should not be poked at”, as Gavin had told him. There had been a pin board hung up with keys, a list with groceries crossed out and a picture of Gavin and Tina. Nines was surprised to find one of himself, too: the one from his police file – the only one Nines had ever taken of himself. He couldn’t understand why it was hanging here though. Maybe he should ask. He wandered into the living room, that consisted of a sofa, a television, a table for two and three chairs. To the left was a small open plan kitchen and a huge cat tree. The walls were decorated with more pictures: Several loose ones of Gavin and Tina at various events, one framed of Gavin’s class from the police academy, one of him alone in a suit, several more of three cats, one of them the cat Nines had terrified just minutes ago. In a corner behind the TV was a bookcase crammed in between the wall and a plant higher than the detective himself. The android walked up to it and took a look at the books. It surprised him to find a lot of guidebooks. A lot of them centred around meditation practices and how to relax right, but some of them where about how to socialise and it took for him to read the title of one book “How to human” written by one of the few android authors out there, to make the connection. Had Gavin bought some of these to help him? That made some feeling stir in him, he couldn’t quite identify other than that it was linked to the friends-category he had written into existence on their drive.

A noise from what he figured was the bathroom made Nines flinch. Gavin had exited the room dressed in a towel and fled to another room. Nines presumed this was a matter of privacy and didn’t investigate in that direction, instead looking at the sofa, where the cat was sitting, watching him. Maybe another attempt would mend his earlier misstep. He walked up to her, crouching and holding a hand out for her to sniff. ‘Allow me to introduce myself correctly: I am a friend of your human. We work together and he helps me rebuilding myself.’  
‘She still can’t understand you, you know that, right?’ Nines looked up to see Gavin dressed in sweatpants and a loose T-Shirt, hair still a bit damp.  
‘Why is there a picture of me at your pin board?’, the android asked instead.

Gavin changed colour again and coughed. ‘Ah, well, to remind me there are not only assholes out there. Call it motivation to leave the house.’  
‘Is Stroy the name of your cat?’  
‘Yeah, short for Destroyer, don’t ask. She pushed everything to the floor in the beginning. A lot of potted plants fell victim to her.’  
‘An apt name’, Nines commented.  
‘Really? Most tell me it’s silly and not appropriate at all’, Gavin chuckled.  
‘She is… visually pleasing’, Nines said, trying to touch her. The cat allowed it and pressed into his hand. ‘Physically pleasing too’, he added.  
‘Yeah, that she is!’

Nines had sat down on the sofa petting Stroy completely fascinated by the soft sensation. In the meantime, Gavin had made himself Dinner and filled the cat’s bowl, too. He had joined Nines on the couch afterwards, to watch a movie. The android found he didn’t feel as awkward as in the beginning anymore. He also realised watching a movie was an interesting activity as he could analyse the actor’s displayed emotions without being socially awkward. As time flew by, Gavin yawned more frequently, and finally he stood up, motioning Nines to follow him. ‘Come on, you get the bed, I take the couch’, he told him, opening the door to his bedroom.  
'Why?’  
'Well, I’m tired, I’ll try to get some sleep. And you can use the bed. Tomorrow I’ll take you back to the precinct with me.’  
'Gavin, I don’t need a bed to enter sta- to sleep.’  
'Yeah, but I would feel better if you did’, Gavin yawned.  
'Okay then.’ Nines eyed the bed and surrounding room. His eyes caught onto something laying on Gavin’s nightstand.  
'You kept it?’  
The human needed some time to get what he meant, then nodded and hurriedly said: 'Yeah, Of course I kept it! It was a gift after all. What do you think of me?’ It sounded like an accusation, but the human smiled at him, so it should be fine. 'Get to sleep, buddy. See you tomorrow!’

Nines laid down on the bed – completelyunnecessary for stasis as he could do that standing upright, sitting or in any other position. But somehow this was nice… Pretending to be human for once. How was it falling asleep? How was it feeling tired or never wanting to leave the bed? How was it when feelings came so naturally to someone that they never even thought about them, showed them so freely they managed to annoy some.  
He pulled the blanket over himself, although he emitted no heat to capture. Then he laid there, listening for the human getting comfortable on the couch. He looked towards the door and his eyes caught on the little gemstone he had gifted Gavin a few months back. He scanned it, detecting fingerprints on it. Just as many and just as recent as on the man’s coffee-machine. He must have held it in his hands several times and regular too. It seemed he really valued the little stone and again something stirred in him.

Maybe there was more to Gavin’s status in his catalogue. There was certainly more to it than the word “friend” contained. Nines just had to figure out what word would describe it best. Although he was sure, the human would be more than happy to help him with this matter.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was prompted by the tumblr user anxiousmessofaperson!

Gavin sat at his desk in the precinct, slowly sipping away at his coffee staring at his screen. There was nothing much to do at the Red Ice front recently, so they had been assigned to assist with the homicide department. Nines had offered to go over to talk with Hank and Connor about what they could help them with after “interpreting that the scowl on his face after hearing the good news is one of discontent and frustration”. Yeah, he was right, he never liked working with the two. Well, he didn’t like working with anyone… except the toaster himself of course. The android was one of the four silver linings in his life; Cats, Tina and coffee being the others.

He risked a glance over the edge of his screen towards the tin-can. He had become much more attentive lately, picking up the more delicate parts about expressing emotions. And Gavin had more and more problems hiding… well, hiding his feelings.  
He had spent a lot of time with the android lately. They couldn’t go out drinking every day and Gavin didn’t want to spend all his money in coffeeshops and restaurants. So, they ended up at his home more often and nearly every day Nines accompanied him back to his place, before driving back to the precinct for the night. He had come a long way and Nines often surprised him by noticing far more than he had expected. He had explained it with his self-written program allowing him finally to come to his own conclusions and learning from Gavin’s input faster. Somehow the man feared the time the android wouldn’t need him anymore. He tried not to think about it too much. If the android was still sticking around after his programming essentially was functioning rudimental now, that had to mean something. And Nines called him a friend… He shouldn’t be such an idiot about it and think too much into-

‘Gavin!’  
‘Huh?’ The Detective looked up into the android’s face. When had he? ‘Oh, sorry, lost in thoughts and all. What-‘ He furrowed his brows at Nines smile. It was a real smile now. Well, it had always been real, but this was a socially acceptable one. ‘What has you grinning like this?’  
‘I asked Connor why he was so happy!’  
‘Oh shit, Nines, what did I tell you about being blunt?’ Gavin already thought about ways to explain to him that you didn’t simply _go around asking people why they are happy._  
‘Don’t worry, I was right! He wasn’t just smiling; he really was happy. He finally proposed to Hank! And he accepted.’  
‘Oh. Oh okay.’ Gavin nodded and looked back at his screen. ‘Good for them.’

‘Aren’t you happy for them?’, Nines asked. ‘You look…’ Nines took a minute and his LED changed to red from the strain to his systems. ‘I don’t know the word for it, but it is a form of sadness. Near to disappointment and… envy? I haven’t seen that on you yet.’  
‘There is no way hiding from you, is there?’, Gavin chuckled. ‘It’s nothing. Let’s get back to work, shall we?’  
‘…Yes. Just one question: That was something I wasn’t supposed to comment on, right? An involuntary display of emotions? I’m sorry for picking it up.’  
‘Don’t be, tin-can. You did nothing wrong. It’s impressive how much you learned. But you are right, I would rather not speak about it.’ Not yet.  
‘I understand, Detective. I’ll send you the documents on their case then.’

Gavin sighed deeply, once Nines had sat down and interfaced with his terminal. He kneaded his forehead and cursed his damn heart. He was so proud of the android’s progress and their friendship, but still… The way Nines smiled at him set something inside him aflame, the way he was always so careful not to hurt a man everyone had thought couldn’t even feel hurt to begin with. The feeling when they sat on his sofa at home, watching a movie and he wanted nothing more than to lean against the other’s side, to be close to him and maybe be held even, maybe to fall asleep in his arms-  
Phck his feelings. They always made everything so difficult.

-

Nines didn’t know what to make of this particular human that stubbornly refused to be sorted into any category everyone else fit so neatly into. Co-worker, friend, family, drinking-buddy, partners, yes, that all fit in one way or the other, but there was not one he was content with. Gavin was more, so much more than _just that_. There was something still outside his reach, no matter how much he learned and how much he understood the mystery that was Gavin Reed.

The last weeks, if not months, the Detective had been acting increasingly weird, displaying emotions that made no sense in his self-written social module. Research didn’t bring up anything and somehow, he had always refrained himself from asking. He had learned quickly that humans didn’t like people pressing them to answer personal questions. He would have to wait until they came to him to talk about it. But something told him, Gavin would never unveil it to him - with or without prodding. And while that was acceptable with others, with that particular man it was… off-putting.

With Nines being lost in his thoughts, the car was dead silent as they drove home – as Gavin drove home and let him tag along. The first words were spoken towards the cat, Stroy. Like any other day, Gavin vanished to take a shower, leaving the android to his own devices. Nines fed the cat and waited for the human to come back.

As he did, he heated up some leftover from the meal they had prepared together yesterday. Cooking was something… fascinating. Maybe because it was so utterly different to what Nines was meant to do. Maybe it was because they had listened to someone on the radio telling a joke, prompting Gavin to laugh. Maybe it was because they had spent the rest of the evening telling each other jokes. Now it was weirdly quiet as if there was tension in the air that would snap at the first word uttered.  
The human seemed to feel it too, because he sat down next to the android and sighed.  
‘Hey, you are unusually silent, tin-can. Something I said? Something I can help you with?’  
Nines fake-smiled at him, telling him it was nothing. A gesture telling Gavin his concern had been noted, but he didn’t have to worry or invest into discussing the matter.

‘You… Nines, I’m okay if you don’t want to talk about it. But if you want, you can tell me. I promised to help you and I will keep it.’  
So the concern had been real. Of course, it had been real. This was Gavin.  
‘You are behaving weird around me. At least for the last few weeks, but probably longer. I am asking myself why.’  
Another sigh was his answer and the human put his untouched meal down on the coffee table.  
‘If you don’t want to tell me, that’s alright. I don’t have to know everything.’  
‘No, I will tell you. But I… I want you to know you are in no way obligated to feel the same way or pretend anything, okay?’  
‘Okay.’  
‘I… Phck this isn’t… I’m bad at this… Err…’ He took one deep breath and closed his eyes. ‘I love you, alright? I don’t know when or why it started, but I just…’ He relaxed a bit and looked to the ground. ‘I just do.’

The silence stretched, while Gavin awaited a reaction. The android was most likely processing and he didn’t dare to look up. To see that LED spinning. To see that laughing face calling him an idiot. Or worse, that expressionless face from the beginning back to ask him why.  
‘Love. You love me?’  
Gavin nodded, still looking intensely at the floor, until Stroy rubbed against his leg and he automatically petted her. ‘I didn’t tell you. I tried to keep it secret. I didn’t want you to notice it. You know, I didn’t want you to know it before you really understood it, before you could identify it yourself and know how you feel about it, okay? I don’t- You don’t- Phck, it’s complicated!’

He sat up at this and looked into the android’s face, feeling miserable and at the same time as if a weight was lifted from him. Nines studied him for a while. Then nodded. ‘I see.’ It made sense to him. ‘Thank you for telling me. I will need time to think about it. I think I should leave. We will see each other at the precinct tomorrow?’

Gavin stood, shocked and caught off-guard. ‘Errr… yeah, of course! You… You get back safe!’  
‘Thank you, Detective, I will.’ With that he was out of the door not nearly half an hour after entering.

‘Phck! Phck you Gavin, you phcked up!’ How could he have been so dumb? How the hell did he think this was a good idea? ‘Yeah, of course, tell the tin-can, that has just learned to smile and detect if people are happy, you phcking fell for him! That won’t weird him out at all, no. What did you expect, hm? That he tells you he loves you too? That he kisses you? This isn’t some cheesy phcking rom-com! Holy shit Gavin, haven’t you learned a thing?’ He slammed his fist against the next wall and wallowed in the pain racing up his arm. ‘ _Get back safe._ Really? You didn’t even try.’ He leaned his head against the cool wall. ‘Phck me and my idiotic timing. You lost a perfectly good friend again, Gavin. Congratulations.’

After an eternity leaned against that wall, he went straight to bed. The world could phck off. He didn’t care he hadn’t eaten and that it wasn’t even after 8 pm yet. He threw himself onto his blankets and wrapped them around him staring at his nightstand. Then he finally gave in and took the little blue gemstone in his hand.

_‘What is this?’  
‘It’s a stone. It reacts badly to pressure and heat, just like you and it looks like your eyes when we investigate at night. My research deemed this a suitable gift. I’m going back to work.’_

He shook his head to shoo the memories away and closed his eyes, pressing the little stone to his chest.

-

Nines sat in the automated car replaying the memory over and over again.

_I love you, alright? I don’t know when or why it started, but I just… I just do._

_I love you._

Nines couldn’t understand, couldn’t… he was a machine. A defective machine. He knew Gavin would hate to know he still thought in such ways, but he simply did, it was a fact. He was defective. It was the human’s effort that made him less broken, that let him function correctly, that made him… happy. To think… To think _anyone_ could love him was something he had never expected. Especially no one who knew him that much. Who knew how he had once been, who knew how he still was. Who could see beyond the learned imitations of expressing emotions. He just couldn’t process this at all. He needed help. The only one to come to his mind was Connor. It had been a long time since he had come to him for help, but this was an emergency. He couldn’t possibly talk with Gavin about this. The risk was too high to hurt the man. He couldn’t… He couldn’t take that risk. He needed-

He needed-

‘Connor! I need your help!’

Nines faced a very confused Hank at the door. That was enough to shake him out of his panicked state momentarily. ‘I’m sorry. Is Connor home?’  
‘Err… Yeah, what-‘  
‘What do you need help with?’, Hank was interrupted by a face appearing next to him.  
‘Emotions’, Nines blurted out desperately.  
Hank stepped to the side letting him in. ‘Who doesn’t?’, he muttered, taking a swipe of the street in front of his house, before closing the door again.

Moments later they sat at the kitchen table, Hank eating while the androids talked.  
‘Okay, brother, what do you need help with? Did Gavin do something?’  
‘Yes! He-‘  
‘I’m going to kill him!’  
‘No!’  
‘What?’  
‘Please don’t kill him, he loves me!’  
Whatever Hank had been about to swallow at that second was coughed onto the table in a desperate attempt to get air in his lungs.  
‘Tha prick fucking does what?’, he cried out once he had gathered himself.  
‘He told me just now. I asked him why he was acting so weird and he confessed that he loved me, but didn’t want me to know as I am… well, as I can’t express that yet.’  
‘Never thought the kid had some sense of decency’, Hank commented, coughed again and drank some water.

‘I am still so confused! I… I hadn’t expected it and… and my research has proved wrong before, I don’t want to screw this up and I-‘  
‘Nines, calm down. At least try’, Connor said. ‘So, he loves you. Fine. What do you feel?’  
‘I… I don’t know. I never talked with Gavin about love. And it is such a complex concept. There are expectations and so many aspects, I… Movies! We watched movies together and some of them depicted love. There is a physical component. A mental one. A social, a biological one. And they always… It’s difficult. I don’t know if I can give him what is expected.’  
‘Nines. Stop. Forget what is apparently expected, please. What do you feel?’

‘I… I just-‘  
‘Just speak with me. Don’t worry about social stuff for a moment, okay?’  
‘He is far beyond the friends-category. There are too many feelings for that. And none of the others fit him. We are not family, as we are different species even and not linked by blood. We are co-workers, but so am I and Chris and that definitely isn’t the same. I like his company. I owe him so much for teaching me. I like his determination and commitment. I want to give him something back but not to repay a debt but because I think he deserves it. I would even do it had he never done a thing for me. I like the little gestures he leaves behind for me and pretends it’s just a coincidence. He bought books on problems expressing emotions to help me better, he keeps thirium in his fridge. I am the only reason for it, but he always makes it seem as if it had always been there. As if it was normal. There is so much I like about this man, but I don’t know if that’s love. Because it is definitely more than friends, but not what the movies depict, not what it’s supposed to be and-‘

Connor laid a hand on his that was wildly gesticulating without him noticing. He was smiling at him. Honestly. ‘You came to me for advice? Here it is: Go to him and tell him exactly what you told me just now. Love isn’t something that a simple definition you find online can cover completely. Love definitely isn’t what the movies tell you. Love is as complex and complicated as the people involved. And there are so many ways to love someone. Go to him, tell him what you feel. It’s the only way of finding out whether or not he accepts the form of love you are willing to give.’  
‘But I’m afraid’, Nines whispered. ‘What if he doesn’t.’  
‘Then he’s even more of an idiot than I thought him to be’, Connor chuckled.  
‘Brother, I mean it. He is my most valuable friend, I don’t want to lose him.’  
‘Then you won’t. You can stay friends after this. You didn’t hurt him, and he didn’t hurt you. Think about it about being incompatible to interface. You can still talk after trying, can’t you?’  
Nines looked onto the hand that laid on top of his and shifted his to hold it. ‘Thank you, Connor.’


	5. Chapter 5

‘~It’s Britney Bitch~’  
Gavin scrunched his eyes keeping them deliberately shut at the rude interruption of his sleep. He didn’t open them, determined to get back to sleep after telling whoever called him to phck off. He slapped his hand on his nightstand with several thuds as he hoped to find his phone.  
‘What is it?’, he groaned into the speaker and waited for an answer that justified waking him up in any way.  
‘Okay, they didn’t lie to me! It’s me, Gavin, Tina! How do you feel?’  
‘How do I feel?’, Gavin asked as if this was some sick joke. ‘Like shit. Why?’  
‘Ah, just that Nines told Fowler you didn’t feel too well and would take a sick day. He also told me he would go check in on you later. Anything going on there I should know? Anyways, I know you would still come to work one foot in the grave, so how are you? Should I plan your funeral?’

Gavin groaned again, long and pained, as the memories of the day before punched him in the face. Phck that damn toaster. That asshole, that… Why had he arranged this whole play of him being sick? What was that about him checking in later? Why was Tina calling him this early- He pulled the phone from his ear and finally opened his eyes? Sleep wasn’t something he could get back to now, so why bother? It was ten in the morning. Phck. He would have thought it to be way earlier what the-  
‘Gavin? You still there?’  
‘Yeah! Yeah!’, he hurried to get out. ‘I’m…. I’m feeling miserable, Tina. But it’s… It’s mostly stuff in my head; I’m gonna tell you later, okay? I just need some time to clear my mind.’  
‘Fine’, Tina agreed. ‘But don’t you go die on me! I need you to restock the breakroom coffee!’  
‘You are the asshole that takes my coffee all the time? I can’t believe it! You do know how to read, right?’  
He could hear Tina chuckling over the line and smiled himself. ‘Get well soon, Gav, so you can kick my ass personally for it, okay?’  
‘I will! And… Thank you. See you soon!’

He ended the call and put his phone back on his nightstand with a sigh. His hand came down next to the blue gemstone. He stared at it, followed the white, web-like veins in it for a while until he felt his chest narrowing down on his heart.

Before he could really get lost in his thoughts, there was a knock on the door.  
‘Oh, phck me, who the hell…’  
For once in his life he was well rested, having fallen asleep far too early and being allowed to sleep in. It didn’t mean he felt good having to leave the bed, but oh well. Whoever disturbed him would get his fair share of his anger, he decided as he pushed back the sheets and grabbed some sweatpants to pull on. It was far from decent, but Gavin couldn’t find it in his will to care.

He was ready to bark some expletives towards the unfortunate soul behind the door, as he opened it, but his words got stuck in his throat as he saw the figure in front of him.  
‘Good morning, Gavin. I… May I come in? I brought breakfast as was suggested for me as a means of reconciliation.’  
Gavin was tense, ready to explode on the damn tin-can, then met his eyes. These damn grey to blue eyes, so damn soft…  
He sighed, opening the door a bit more gesturing inside. ‘Fine. Why the hell not? It’s not like this morning could get any worse.’ He closed the door behind the android and went to the kitchen on autopilot, while Nines went further into the room, ambling towards his usual place on the sofa, but not sitting down. Gavin had his hands on the water tank of the coffee machine as he caught himself. The tin-can had his breakfast. Right.

He pulled out the cat food to justify his presence in the kitchen, then walked towards the doorframe hesitantly.  
‘Hey, the bullshit about me being sick… That was you, right?’  
‘…Yes.’ At least the android looked adequately guilty about it. ‘It wasn’t a lie though, as you are unwell at the moment. And I wanted to talk to you about… about what you told me yesterday.’  
Gavin pushed himself from the frame he had been leaning against and walked out into the hallway.  
‘Fine. But listen, toaster: I. don’t.’ He took a deep breath before he continued: ‘If you don’t feel that way, that’s fine, I understand, okay? You needed help, you got help, no strings attached. Business. I’m fine with that. You just didn’t have to be an asshole about it by leaving _without a word!_ ’

Nines physically recoiled at that and sat the cup of coffee and the bag holding his breakfast down on the coffee table. ‘That’s… That’s actually what I wanted to talk with you about. Please…’ The android avoided his eyes and laid one hand on the backrest of the sofa. ‘Would you come over here? Sit with me? I… I am sorry. I was confused and overwhelmed. I…’ He looked up at hearing Gavin’s footsteps and found some courage in the fact that despite his hostile appearance, the man still listened to him and approached.  
‘I couldn’t process my emotions to what you told me. I… I needed help figuring it out; usually you are the only one that can help me with this. But I couldn’t talk to you about it when you are the one who wanted an answer and I… I thought of Connor, because he helped me in the past before you came, and… and I left immediately, not thinking about what that might look like to you. I’m deeply sorry, should this have hurt you.’

The silence stretched and even more than before, Gavin’s heart hurt at seeing Nines this distraught.  
‘I accept your apology’, he sighed, sitting down on the sofa. He waited for the android to continue; Gavin had already said everything he could bring himself to.  
‘Thank you.’ Nines sat down too, keeping his distance from the human and trying to make himself smaller. ‘I feel… I feel a lot for you, but I’m not sure if it’s love. Connor told me it is one form love can take but to be honest his explanation wasn’t as clear as yours normally are. He advised me to tell you what I feel and let you decide if you accept it. And if you don’t… I hope we can stay friends then? I don’t want to lose you.’  
‘Of course, Nines’, Gavin nodded. He wanted to stay angry at this damn machine, he wanted to throw hands and shout and push him away. But that would destroy everything, just as it always did and for once he really didn’t want to ruin this. Especially when there was still hope. So, he anxiously waited for the android to tell him how he felt. Maybe… There was still a chance. But his pessimistic side told him not to believe in it. After all, he was Gavin Reed. He was lucky if he could keep the tin-can as a friend.

‘I… this is difficult for me. I… I hope this isn’t too robotic for you, with Connor I… He is the same and I don’t know how humans-‘  
‘Nines. Don’t worry.’ Gavin hadn’t wanted to be soft just yet, but seeing the android ramble, seeing him desperate for words… Well that had been what had lured him in in the first place, hadn’t it. ‘You are not human, so I don’t expect this to be “the human way”. Just tell me. If I don’t understand it, I’ll ask.’  
Nines nodded, glanced at him, then quickly fixed the floor again.  
‘I like you a lot. You are my friend. But I realised Connor is too, and it doesn’t even come close to what I feel for you. The same is with everyone else. You are my co-worker, but so is Tina and it isn’t the same at all. I… I thought the discrepancies came from me not understanding the terms just yet, I thought maybe there is some concept I didn’t know of yet. I think in the end, that is exactly what it is. We never talked about it after all.’ He sat up and deliberately looked Gavin in the eye.

‘I like being around you. I favour your company above everyone else’s and especially over being by myself. I… I am happy – truly happy – when I’m with you. I feel safe and… cared for. I know when there is something overwhelming or confusing you are there to explain or to take over. And off the job spending my evenings with you is something I treasure deeply. I like when we watch movies together, I like to cook with you, I like your cat.  
I like your determination and commitment. Connor calls you stubborn and I guess he is right with his evaluation, but it is not a bad attribute to have. I like you helping me; but not _for_ helping me, if that makes sense? You always take the whole issue and pretend it is normal. I was… I was scared in the beginning because I am defective and no, don’t say I’m not!’  
Gavin shut his mouth he didn’t even know he had opened in response.  
‘I was scared because there was something missing there, and I couldn’t fill it and it was overwhelming and I couldn’t go and just tell someone. But you acted as if it was normal. You didn’t try to fix me and helped me to do that myself by doing so. I owe you so much and I want to pay you back in some way for it. But I also want to give you something nice regardless of what you did for me. Just for you. And I… And I really like your eyes and that you can’t wink. And the way you speak and still pretend you don’t care when you do. I…’

The android stopped and Gavin found time to process what he just heard. Something he would have never thought to hear with such emotion. He was lost for words and was pretty sure the ability to breathe correctly was overwritten by something that had come out of the machine’s mouth. He could just stare and hope to get back to himself quickly.  
Nines had trouble identifying all of this and of course interpreted it the wrong way. ‘Is everything alright?’, He asked. ‘I… I really want to love you. Is this enough?’

_Is this enough._ Gavin knew it was more than he ever hoped for. He hoisted himself up to sit next to the android and hug him from the side. Maybe showing it would work better than trying to search for words. He embraced the hard hull and pressed the android against himself, realising he had never touched him deliberately. It was an odd sensation and immediately Gavin hoped this was okay. He closed his eyes and stayed that way, flinching, as arms were awkwardly draped around him and the pressure rose very unnaturally to equal his own. It had to be a good sign, right?  
‘I…’, Nines began, sounding utterly confused. ‘I like this, don’t stop, but… could you answer me? So I’m sure I understand this correctly?’

‘Yes!’, Gavin blurted out. ‘Yes, more than that, Nines, far more than enough for me. I… I don’t think I could make up a list this fast about every detail I like about you, but I love you. And this is more anyone had ever given me.’  
‘Then you’ll… accept this kind of love?’, Nines asked still not convinced.  
Gavin sat up a bit and pushed against Nines’ arms to look the bot in the eyes. ‘Yes. Of course, you stupid phcking toaster, of course, I will! I accept all your terms and conditions; now where do I sign?’


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was prompted by the tumblr user aurea-b!

Since he had told Gavin his feelings and Nines updated Gavin’s status to boyfriend, two things had changed. One, they had become more physical in their interactions. Two, Nines spend a lot of time researching how to be physical properly. As a machine built for war, he was too hard, too rigid and had far too much power to be comfortable or soft. Hugging his human either ended up in just resting his arms on him or near crushing his bones. They practised a lot, but realising just how the human enjoyed contact, he wanted to surprise him

Cuddling on the couch worked well. Nines had understood it was more a passive display of affection than an actual decision and just going through the motions Gavin showed him and experimenting a bit with what he had seen in others was enough to get the hang of it.

Hugs still were a challenge. The pressure used was something very important and depending on social situations. There had to be a standard hug used for everyday life, but when Gavin hadn’t seen him for a while, they tended to be stronger. The same applied for when he was excited, relieved or wanted to put a special emphasis on the action. Too many parameters were involved, one being a rough understanding of the emotional atmosphere. His social module was good enough to work with, but it definitely wasn’t advanced enough for these decisions. He had learned he was good at comforting hugs though, but that was mainly because Gavin knew how to communicate with him. Whenever he was frustrated, sad or just bored, he came to him requesting a high, medium or low-pressure hug. Nines realised he liked these ones best.

But there was one thing they hadn’t gotten to yet: kissing. Somehow Nines wanted their first kiss to be perfect already. He knew it was unlikely, but if he didn’t manage perfect, then maybe at least not terrible. It was difficult to practise, but maybe if he just researched it enough the actual thing wouldn’t be that bad?

It took him weeks of nervousness to finally feel well prepared enough. Then it was a matter of finding the best moment to do it. Nines was sure now to be exactly that: They were at Gavin’s home, sitting on the couch just as the movie they had watched had ended and the credits rolled down to slow music. Neither of them wanted to move just yet, too comfortable in their positions. Gavin leaned against him with Nines leaving his arm resting on his shoulders, gently brushing his shoulder with his fingers. The blanket between Gavin’s sensitive side and Nines’ hard metal-enforced ribcage adding to the cosiness. If that wasn’t the right moment it would never come, the android decided and remembered his research.

[Drop hints you’re interested.] That included keeping his lips softly parted and getting caught looking at Gavin’s lips.  
Nines would have said his execution was flawless. Except that Gavin didn’t see it. He had his eyes closed and was sitting huddled into his side.  
[Mission failed]  
Nines was quick to delete his initial reaction. Just a set-back, not a failure entirely.

[Break the kiss barrier] He had to plant a two to three second kiss on a sensible part that wasn’t the mouth, most mentioned places: hands, cheek, head.  
He went with the top of Gavin’s head, as any other part of his head wasn’t really reachable naturally. He tried to keep his lips soft, as much as that was possible with plastic only flexible enough to imitate lip movements when speaking. It was a quick light kiss that should work with every direction the internet could give him. Now it was to watch for Gavin’s reaction, who-  
Who grumbled slightly, scratching the spot Nines had just kissed. Nines felt emotion flaring up he could only describe as a combination of sudden anger, frustration and desperation, as another [mission failed] came up.

He shook his head. That was fine, there was still a way this could work.  
[Set the mood with a compliment.] That would work surely. Nines was good with words. That was what Gavin had helped him with and what had won the man over. Words were easy. Or at least easier.  
Nines squeezed Gavin closer with his arm, converting cuddling into a hug, low-pressure. Then he mumbled: ‘I’m so lucky to be with you right here right now.’  
That brought a smile to Gavin’s face. Honest happiness. So far so good. ‘Hmm, me too.’  
[mission failed.] That- that couldn’t be! He had done all he could have done according to his research. Why didn’t it work? It should have!

He mulled it over and could only decide that his source material had to be faulty. If it didn’t work, clearly he had to have picked the wrong sites. Or maybe you needed human instincts for this, who knew. Regardless, Nines was utterly frustrated now but stubborn enough not to let weeks of research go to waste. Gavin liked him for being himself, right? He had said so himself. Maybe perfect simply didn’t work with the man.

So, he scrapped all of his research and deleted it permanently, before simply moving out of his position and leaning down to press his lips on Gavin’s. Immediately he pulled back again, waiting for the last [mission failure] pop up. Maybe he just wasn’t made for this.  
Gavin was looking at him, fully awake and blushing, while Nines still waited for a reaction he could understand. Then the man grinned. ‘Not like this, babe’, he chuckled, taking his hand. ‘Should I show you how to kiss properly?’  
Yes! ‘If you want to.’  
Gavin leaned in to push his mouth on his almost expertly. So many sensations and emotions flooded his systems that it was difficult to concentrate on technique and before he got used to it, Gavin pulled away. ‘Now you!’  
Nines regretted deleting all his research completely in a fit of anger instead of just pushing it aside for comparing. But he did as Gavin said and dove in. It was… slightly worse.

But the man just laughed. ‘Oh, god, you are such a bad kisser, Nines.’  
The android huffed out a heated breath. ‘I can’t be perfect when I only just begun!’  
‘I know, I know’, he said quickly. ‘Don’t worry, you’ll get the hang of it, I’m sure!’ Gavin pulled him down again, smiling at him completely lovelorn. ‘Besides I’m looking forward to practising this with you already.’

Maybe not being perfect had its perks, then.

**Author's Note:**

> You can prompt a story like this yourself if you want! Just head over to my tumblr @fandom-necromancer, message me on twitter @Schreibmachin4 or contact me in any way!


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